So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
