she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
