I can tuck mytits in my pants
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
