are you still at the devil's house?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
