she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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