Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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