So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
