i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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