Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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