Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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