you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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