just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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