The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
