Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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