Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
