On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
