Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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