Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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