I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My vagina just recognized that song.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
