you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
