For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
