if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
