Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
