READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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