new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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