I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
