Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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