all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
