Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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