ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
