Non-Jews are for practice
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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