you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
