I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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