She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Less talking, more tequila
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
