Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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