I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize