Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
