i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
