Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
