no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
