we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
