I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize