I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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