gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
