i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
