He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
