Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
