The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We got so high we made milksteak
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
