Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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