He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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