Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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