So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize