i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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