I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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