then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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