I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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