I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
