you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
