I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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