She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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