It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize