IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
