he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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