nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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