he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
