I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
