Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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