So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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