A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it because I queefed?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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