The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
