you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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