just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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