Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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