i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
