Fine. I'll sleep in my office
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
