I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
