I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
